If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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