I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
