Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
