Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
