so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
