There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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