direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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