I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
