Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This house was built for laser tag.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
