Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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