i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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