My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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