We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well I just put wine in my tea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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