soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
