just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
