Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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