He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
