Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
