That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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