I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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