we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
