yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
