Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize