my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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