YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize