she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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