Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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