Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
