She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
