I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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