Someone shit on the floor
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
