Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
