i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
