Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
