I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
50% drunk capacity currently
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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