Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
