It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
