His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Swine flu is the new snow day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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