Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
