I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
