Me too!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
