We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
cat food counts as protein by the way
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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