Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
