Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
