He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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