After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
