dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
