who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
