He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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