i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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